Relationships and Codependency

How do I help you work on your relationships, including any codependent traits?

Relationships are wonderful, challenging, and often mysterious. We imagine that having a committed partner or close confidante will solve some of our problems. You might be surprised that your partner does not understand what is important to you. You might wish for the ideal partner, or even a boss, who can understand you perfectly and give you all the support you need. You may hope there will be someone to take care of you, if you wish, or someone who can give the right amount of space. You might wish your chiId is doing better in school, or making friends with different kids. These are common wishes we all share about our relationships.

Relationships take work. Regular communication, compromise, and learning are the reality. Often, the clashes that make us uncomfortable come from our unresolved wounds from earlier in life and our common wish for greater possibility.

I have helped many people acquire skills to communicate better with people they love or just people around whom they need to feel more at ease.  With therapy, you can learn healthy interactionswith a spouse, partner, boss or co-worker, a child, friend, or even a customer service rep when you have been on hold for 20 minutes. You will engage more with your chosen communities and want to pursue ways of helping others.

Codependency involves focusing too much on another person, often at your expense. You may worry terribly about someone drinking too much or a partner who is working a lot of the time. You may be trying to control what someone else is doing because you are scared they aren’t paying enough attention to other matters, including your relationship. Your behavior can become more desperate as your anxiety escalates with the situation and you may even be having more uncontrollable worry, anger, or even health concerns as a result.

How do I help you interact better with other people?

In the first few sessions, I obtain information from you to determine our next steps. I carefully listen to what you are experiencing in the troubled relationship and what you have tried to do to fix the problem.

Together, we decide how to proceed in your psychotherapy, one step at a time.  As you experience successes with your interactions, we continue in the directions which individually suit you.  This provides more trust in the therapy process which helps change occur.

You may want to address some of these areas to improve your interactions:

  • Understanding codependency and appropriate, safe boundaries.
  • Building new communication skills.
  • Strengthening self-esteem.
  • Recovering from the effects of alcohol or drug abuse in your childhood family.
  • Looking honestly at your own drinking or drug use.
  • Healing from physical or emotional trauma, including physical and/or sexual abuse from childhood or earlier in your life.
  • Living well, even with a dysfunctional family member or friend.

If you wish to find out more about Relationships and Codependency, please check the Suggested Reading and Community Resources pages of my website.

Click below for information on my other specialties:

Stress and Trauma Management and
Grief, Illness, and Transition